You Know You're From the Gulf Coast When...

Someone send this to me and I thought it funny so I'm passing it on:

You Know You're From the Gulf Coast When...

You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.
You have more than 300 'C' and 'D' batteries in your kitchen drawer.
Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os.
You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway.
Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.
You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
You are delighted to pay $4 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
You own more than three large coolers.
You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back"
You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
You catch a 13-pound redfish - in your driveway.
You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
You consider a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.
At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.
Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MRE's and bottled water.
Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.
You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree worker.
A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
Your child's first words are "hunker down" and you didn't go to Ole Miss!
Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
Toilet Paper is elevated to coin of the realm at the shelters.
You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."
Your kids start school in August and finish in July.
You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.

All About Molly and Language Lesson 4

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, been pretty busy on our end. We survived the "wrath" of Eduardo.

Molly goes for her checkup next week, can't wait to officially see how much she's grown. By now, she's got the solids thing pretty set. She gobbles up most of what you put in front of her, but like her daddy, she's particular about some of her fruits and veggies!! She now sits up amazingly well and still is rolling all over the place. Last night, she tried getting up on all fours a couple of times.

Also, she can sit up in the bathtub as well. We tried bathing her in the "bath duck" which my lovely bride insisted that we get. Well, the duck is pretty cute, and when you squeeze its' beak it quacks, but otherwise, it is completely impractical. It is no longer in use!

Here is tonight's language lesson (read prior posts for an explanation of our experiment).

Spanish - The word is "petroleo". It means oil. For example, The "Messiah has no interest in our country drilling for more petroleo."

French - The word is "tyre". It means tire. For example, "That idiot the democrats nominated actually believes by keeping our tyres inflated properly and getting tune-ups that we won't ever have to drill for more oil".

Simple enough!

Deficit Spending and Language Lesson #3

El Presidente Bush today released his draft of the federal budget for next year. One with a deficit. What else is new, right? Well, this one has a 482 BILLION dollar deficit!!! That's sick. What has happened to fiscal restraint?

This just once again shows the differences between Republicans and Democrats. The Democrats want to raise taxes and raise spending. The Republicans want to cut taxes and raise spending.

Where have you gone, fiscal responsibility?

Deficit spending, a little bit... isn't all that bad for a country like the U.S... because it's not like the country will default on its obligations. Just like individuals having a little bit of debt is ok if it's used to buy a house, etc. But too much of anything is a bad thing... and 482 Billion in deficit (note, this is just this upcoming year, it gets added to the national debt) is well beyond the aspects of normal behavior.

Ah well, here is tonight's lesson.

Spanish - The word is "tributo" . It means tax. For example, "The only way He and His Congress will be able to balance the budget is to make the people pay more tributo, as we all know there will not be any spending cuts!"

French - The word is "depenses". It means to spend. For example, "Since some in our government want to enhance entitlement programs, on this track, our out of control depenses will cause problems in the future. "

Good night!

Language Lesson #2

As stated in yesterday's post, we will be helping the Messiah accomplish His goal of making sure all of us can speak Spanish, and not embarras ourselves when we go to Europe, by having a daily language lesson.

Spanish - The word is "fino". It means fine, thin, slender, or smooth. For example, "I told the lady at the deli counter at the Fiesta Grocery Store that I wanted my Chisesi's ham cut thin, but since she probably did not understand English well, I should have told her to cut it fino."

French - The word is "pluridisciplinaire". It means multidisciplinary. For example, "Our future president, the Great Obama, has learned so much about so many world topics despite having no real experience, I guess he is a true pluridisciplinaire."

Goodnight!

The Messiah

OK, all along I have been contemplating who I will vote for in November. I guess I will have to vote for Obama. I mean... that's who the media is telling me to vote for!! Since the coverage is so one-sided, all that means is the media is doing me a favor by taking this hard decision (who to vote for) out of my hands and making the decision for me! Awesome!

In order to do all I can to help the new Messiah, since He wants us all to learn Spanish and not be embarrasing in Europe, I am going to help Him help you. From now forward, pretty much most days, I wll post a Spanish word, and the definition, as well as a French word and the definition. By the time the Annointed One receives his Special Powers in November, hopefully we will all be able to speak as good disciples.

But first, all of you must go read the following about His good works and deeds. You must read this so you can get caught up on His life and His mission. So, please go read He Ventured Forth to Bring Light To the World.

Now that you have been caught up, here is today's lesson:

Spanish: The word is "fonoteca". It means "record library, sound archive." For example, "I can listen to any of Obama's speeches whenever I want, because they are saved in my fonoteca".

French: The word is "murmure". Plural is "murmures". It means "murmurs". For example, "I once thought I heard some people talking about voting for the old guy, McCain, but they were just the murmures of a mad person."

See how great this is going to be?

Check back soon for the next installment!

Updates and such...

Such a slacker, am I...

Ethics class is done and I passed, so I guess this means I'm ethical. Haha. Hopefully next week I will be able to send in my paperwork to the state to get my certification. Just waiting on some paperwork.

Baby S is 14 weeks along. Have heard the heartbeat three times now, each one stronger than the last time. His/her heartbeat they tell me is high, which according to some old wives tale means the baby's a girl. Should know for sure in 4-6 weeks.

Work is going well. We're hiring some new people so that's good... the firm is growing. We're about to get busy for a few weeks as all of our clients who filed extensions decide to get their stuff in so we can do a tax return for them.

Other than that, not too much going on. Alison's been feeling better the last few days, so hopefully her bouts with nausea are moving away.

Not really too much else to say so I'll end it now... later kids!

Coming Soon

All sorts of things are COMING SOON:

Most important, of course, is Baby S. Alison is TEN weeks pregnant. We go back on Wed for a meeting with the nurses. Supposedly this is the "here's what to expect" meeting. Hopefully we are eight weeks away from learning whether my child will be playing football or volleyball in the future.

This was a glorious week in the sports world for many reasons for me, and not just because the Dirty Birds need to find a new quarterback (Please, oh please, let us get to play against Joey Harrington twice).

This past week, we gave Comcast the boot as they no longer provide our cable, internet, and phone services to us. We have AT&T for phone and internet. But the most important thing arrived Friday night, when DirecTV arrived. Yes, the technician arrived 4 and a half hours after the end of our appointment window, and yes, the installation of DirecTV is such a great story that it will get it's own blog soon. However, we now have two things at our disposal:

1) Every Fox Sports channel there is. All in all, 31 regional and national sports channels, including things that were not good enough for Comcast, such as ESPNU.
2) The real reason we got the dish, other than the fact that the astronaut is Craptastic (inside joke for Houston readers) is the dish offers NFL SUNDAY TICKET. Which means...COMING SOON... I will now be able to watch all Saints games in my home. Fellow Houstonian Saints Fans... Saints Football will soon be on the air!! If you want to see the games, make the drive to Katy.

As if the delivery of Saints games was not good enough, I also got some other great news this week. As some of you may know, I have Sirius satelite radio. One of the reasons was so I can listen to the local radio broadcasts of the Saints and LSU games. (Yes, I intend to listen to Jim and Hokie call the game while the sound is turned down on my tv broadcast of the game. Hopefully the delay in the tv satelite and the delay in the sirius satelite will be about the same). LSU, however, will not be on Sirius this year, since the SEC signed a contract with XM. So I thought I would miss the local radio call of the game. However, there is a new radio station which in mid August goes to a all-sports format. This station has announced that it will be part of the LSU Sports Radio Network and will be carrying all LSU football games! Woo-hoo!!

Also COMING SOON is the end of my ethics class. I take two tests coming up on Saturday, the second interim exam and the final. I've learned a few interesting things during the class about the rules of professional conduct, and I've also had my faith in the teaching of ethics validated (as in... you can't teach ethics... you can only teach ideas about how to structure decisions).

Well I guess that's enough for now. Oh, saw The Simpsons Movie last night. Pretty good. Full of one-liners and video gags... just like the TV show. See ya!!

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New Perspectives

But first, an unpaid announcement.

If anyone knows of anyone who wants to live in the great city of Houston and go into public accounting, my firm is looking for a few good men and/or women. Let me know.

Ok, back to the blog...

Ever since Ali and I made the decision to start trying to start a family, I've noticed myself looking at the world through a different lens. When I was younger and single, I looked at things one way. When Ali and I got serious, I looked at them another way. Now, a third way. It's mainly little things but some big things too. I've decided that when I think of it, I'll share some of these things on this blog.

The first one happened tonight.

I was at the grocery store, to get jolly ranchers, pickles, and cucumbers for the wife. As I walked in, I noticed a group of girls, aged 10-13 I guess, in softball uniforms, collecting money. I skirted past them to get into the store. But when I left the store, they were still there, raising money to pay to go on a a trip to Dallas for a tournament. When I say raising money, I mean, standing there begging for money.

Now, this has always bothered me. I have NO PROBLEM supporing youth activities. I'm glad to be in a position in life where I don't have to think twice about buying cookies from a girl scout, or getting a car washed from a church group, etc... and I usually end up giving them MORE than their suggested donation. But, I have never liked beggers. I've always felt that the kids should do SOMETHING to earn money for their trips. Wash cars, cut lawns, carry groceries to the car, something. But, generally, I've always given money to the kids who beg with the buckets... because I'm a sucker.

Well, tonight while I was walking around the store, I thought about all of the above. And I realized something... if my child is blessed enough to go to band camp, or go to a baseball tournament, or a convention, or whatever, and they need to raise money, I want them to do SOMETHING for it. I don't want people to look at my child like he/she is a homeless beggar. I want him/her to learn the value of hard work.

So, when I left the store, out of the kindness of my heart, I dropped a dollar bill into their hat. But, the whole time, I thought if they were selling cupcakes, or raffle tickets, or doing SOMETHING, I would have given them a twenty.

Final note. After the grocery trip, I went to McDonald's, because someone in this household wanted a cheeseburger. When I pulled up to the order board, I saw a cheeseburger was $1.09. A double cheeseburger was $1.00. HUH?!?! I figured since I was told to get a cheeseburger, I better pay an extra nine cents for a smaller burger. When I got home, the wife told me I did the right thing, that a double cheeseburger would have been too much.

Preparing for a Stork

So I think the picture is self-explanatory, but for those of you who graduated from a Texas school and thus need an explanation... I will soon be headed into fatherhood!

Ali is 7 weeks pregnant. Due date mid-february. Many people have asked if it will be a boy or girl. I will not know until approx 18 weeks.... a while off. But we will find out... I want to know!!!
We have known for a few weeks. We told our parents and grandparents last week. We had an ultrasound today, and for a variety of reasons, we wanted to wait until we had the ultrasound done before making a mass announcement.

So now we begin this long journey to parenthood. It's very exciting, a little nervous, and full of waiting. One thing the doc told us is that other than Alison taking her vitamins and staying away from certain things... there's really nothing that we can do insofar as the development of the kid... so we should just sit back, enjoy it, and get ready for his/her arrival! It seems like a lot of this "to-do" stuff won't take place till after we know if the baby's a he or she... that's when we can paint the walls, pick out furniture, etc.

Oh, and here's a funny note. The doc who has seen us so far, used to be an auditor for an international accounting firm. He hated auditing (can't blame him) and decided to go to medical school, since his father is also a doctor. It's weird how things like that happen.